me and my ex broke up cause of alot of promblems that we had !!and like i still have feeling for him but i want to get over those feeling but i cant!how do i get over those feelings that i have for him?and i kno he has no feeling for me cause he told me!and we only went out for 2months and broke up!How to deal with a break up?
You were only with him for 2 months I know you can develop strong feelings for someone but you moved too soon because it was easy for him to shake you off. My suggestion is go out with good girlfriends have some fun life is not over you will find someone else. This guy is not worth the time and effort emotionally you are spending being sad and depressed. Time and space from him will definitely heal this wound. Next relationship don't get so emotionally involved real quick sit back and watch how the guy is reacting to you. Believe me you will know in a very short time if he is worthy of you.How to deal with a break up?
Alot of people will tell you to just get out there and hook up with someone else. Now this works very well for guys. However, the majority of women are wired completely different from men, and random hookups very seldomly work for women trying to get over someone. The best thing you can do is just go on with your life, and do things to make you feel better about yourself. Go get a massage. Go get a manicure. Get a makeover. Go shopping. Just do what makes you happy, and you'll move on eventually.
Stay busy. Time is what it takes. The feelings will fade with time. Do things for yourself to make you feel good.
i'm kinda in the same situation...
FIDO
Forget
It (and)
Drive
On
Works every time...you will have feelling for someone else that can return them.
just forget it all and go on with your life .
Ok, the worst thing to do to get over him is by going out with someone else, so DON'T do that. The best thing to do is to wait on it. It could take a few weeks, or a few months. Honestly when i went out with my Gf and she broke up with me after a month, I decided to go out with someone else, but just couldnt. SO i broke up with her after a few days. Broke her heart, and it hurt me too. So the best thing to do is wait on it
';Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go'; Herman Hesse
Just be busy... don't make a munite that will make you think of him.. Then take away those things that will make you think of him like pictures, his gifts to you.. Be with your friends all the times.. Enjoy yourself so that you will not think of him
Try to keep yourself busy specially with your girlfriends , that's the only healthy way and the worst thing to do it date another person to forget him.
Friday, August 20, 2010
How should I deal with breaking up with girlfriend with baby due in 2 months?
I really dont know what to do. I want to fight it but it seems its not going to work out. She still wants me to be in the baby's life which I will be there for the baby. Should I just wait till we can work out later on or just keep fighting to work things out now.How should I deal with breaking up with girlfriend with baby due in 2 months?
When women are pregnant they aren't very rational. Give her space for now. After the baby is born, and all those pregnancy hormones are out of her body, she may realize just how much she misses you.
So, for now, just back off but let her know you're there. Make sure you're at the hospital for the baby's birth. And be there to help as much as possible afterwards.
Six months to a year from now, you'll know absolutely whether it's over, or it was just a very bad hormone thing.How should I deal with breaking up with girlfriend with baby due in 2 months?
If you can't get harmony in your lives, don't subject the baby to it. The baby deserves a happy home, and if that means two homes (one for mom and one for dad) it's better than teaching him/her that a normal life is full of anger and hostility. If it works out later, all the better. Good luck and congratulations!!
Im 6 months pregnant. My now husband had to deal with my mood swings all these months. I tried to stay normal, despite of all the things that have happened to us: like his brother staying in our house, having to do chores despite of my situation...
If you really want to do the right thing for you and your baby and you love her deeply, I think you should be more patient. Talk to her, tell her you understand her mood swings, but you also have feelings. Try not to be too harsh on her, when we are pregnant, we are waaaay too sensitive. She will understand... and you guys will work out. Merry Christmas!
You should go ahead and end it. its better to raise the child as civil associates or as friends then as a bitter couple soon to be ex couple. I learned this from my own personal experience.
Your Baby? You should take out a large life insurance policy and after the baby that you will abandon is born you can off yourself so he/she will not have to grow up in poverty.
Try being a man.Take care of your kid.In 18 years you be selfish and do what you want. And get yourself fixed people like you shouldn't reproduce.
love is not a free thing...your not either a lover or a fighter....your a fighting lover....i say keep strong...if you have the will to keep hold of this relationship, then keep fighting. you may not realize it, but maybe your subconsience is the source of your want to leave...maybe your just scared. but if you dont fight for love...you will never get it...
if ure still gonna help take care of the baby then.........
i dont think so
If this is true arent you lucky.You get to run off leaving her with baby and problems.Look in mirror:there is a really big man.
yea man stick it out, my wife is 8 months prego and she is absolutely crazy just ignore her and say yes dear. it works.
just tell her that her hormones are killing the relationship...
Dont leave her she really needs you right now so wait and see if you can work it with the baby
you really should be there for her...it's a stressful time for you both! maybe take a couple days away for yourself, explain to her that you need a break, but then come back and handle the situation like a MAN. you have a responsibility...maybe not to her but to the child. Putting her under any sort of stress right now isn't good for the baby. So do what you need to do to destress yourself, reflect on the entire situation, and decide what's best for you and your girlfriend and your baby. After its born, then reevaluate your relationship and the reality of it working out or not. you never know unless you try!
she has alot in her hands right now a human is growing in her stomach wouldnt you be piss at someone just be there for her and help her as much as you can give her space it might go away after the baby is born****
U creep! now you r breakin' up w/her! you should have suffer labor pains like she'll have too. why did you break up with her, was it convenient?
Just take the easy way out. Why not, it's the easy way! Move on to the next girl, knock her up too, and then you can leave her as well. Staying together for the baby isn't something that you should do, but people who have answered this question are right. Women are nuts during a pregnancy, but you have already committed to her to be around for that. You owe her at least that much. Wait around for a couple months and see how things go. You can't just run out on her now.
follow ur heart %26amp; instincts
if you feel it isnt going to work out, dont stay in the relationship for the baby's sake ..
you can still be a good father without being in the relationship with the mother.
if you want to make it work, then try again .. but if that fails.. theres your answer
goodluck
Hormones are probably the reason she seems absolutely impossible. I think it is important that you are there for her right now. I would not break up with her til after the baby is born. Most important right now should be the safe, delivery of your healthy child.
Good Luck
Have either one of you tried counseling?
How old are the two of you?
And although she is due in two months did you really think this through?
I wish you the best of luck as well as for the baby who will be hurt in the long run if the two of choose to fight his/her entire life.
Remember you and the mother are the force behind the new life that the two of you are bringing into the world.
Just go with the flow, she will probably come around after the birth of the baby. Just be available for emotional support and when the baby is delivered. the two of you have a life long commitment like it or not. There is no way you will not be a part of her life for at least the rest of this child's life. Good luck and God bless****
if its because of her actions, realize its the hormones talking, she will be back to her normal self after the baby is born. but keep your promise and be there for your child
Hey man...I know your girl must be absolutely crazy right now...but cut her some slack. Hold out until the baby comes around, she is going to change a lot once she gets that little thing in her hands. You owe it to your baby to be there when its born! Trust me things are freakin nuts right now but she will be a better person once this thing is out of her body!
When women are pregnant they aren't very rational. Give her space for now. After the baby is born, and all those pregnancy hormones are out of her body, she may realize just how much she misses you.
So, for now, just back off but let her know you're there. Make sure you're at the hospital for the baby's birth. And be there to help as much as possible afterwards.
Six months to a year from now, you'll know absolutely whether it's over, or it was just a very bad hormone thing.How should I deal with breaking up with girlfriend with baby due in 2 months?
If you can't get harmony in your lives, don't subject the baby to it. The baby deserves a happy home, and if that means two homes (one for mom and one for dad) it's better than teaching him/her that a normal life is full of anger and hostility. If it works out later, all the better. Good luck and congratulations!!
Im 6 months pregnant. My now husband had to deal with my mood swings all these months. I tried to stay normal, despite of all the things that have happened to us: like his brother staying in our house, having to do chores despite of my situation...
If you really want to do the right thing for you and your baby and you love her deeply, I think you should be more patient. Talk to her, tell her you understand her mood swings, but you also have feelings. Try not to be too harsh on her, when we are pregnant, we are waaaay too sensitive. She will understand... and you guys will work out. Merry Christmas!
You should go ahead and end it. its better to raise the child as civil associates or as friends then as a bitter couple soon to be ex couple. I learned this from my own personal experience.
Your Baby? You should take out a large life insurance policy and after the baby that you will abandon is born you can off yourself so he/she will not have to grow up in poverty.
Try being a man.Take care of your kid.In 18 years you be selfish and do what you want. And get yourself fixed people like you shouldn't reproduce.
love is not a free thing...your not either a lover or a fighter....your a fighting lover....i say keep strong...if you have the will to keep hold of this relationship, then keep fighting. you may not realize it, but maybe your subconsience is the source of your want to leave...maybe your just scared. but if you dont fight for love...you will never get it...
if ure still gonna help take care of the baby then.........
i dont think so
If this is true arent you lucky.You get to run off leaving her with baby and problems.Look in mirror:there is a really big man.
yea man stick it out, my wife is 8 months prego and she is absolutely crazy just ignore her and say yes dear. it works.
just tell her that her hormones are killing the relationship...
Dont leave her she really needs you right now so wait and see if you can work it with the baby
you really should be there for her...it's a stressful time for you both! maybe take a couple days away for yourself, explain to her that you need a break, but then come back and handle the situation like a MAN. you have a responsibility...maybe not to her but to the child. Putting her under any sort of stress right now isn't good for the baby. So do what you need to do to destress yourself, reflect on the entire situation, and decide what's best for you and your girlfriend and your baby. After its born, then reevaluate your relationship and the reality of it working out or not. you never know unless you try!
she has alot in her hands right now a human is growing in her stomach wouldnt you be piss at someone just be there for her and help her as much as you can give her space it might go away after the baby is born****
U creep! now you r breakin' up w/her! you should have suffer labor pains like she'll have too. why did you break up with her, was it convenient?
Just take the easy way out. Why not, it's the easy way! Move on to the next girl, knock her up too, and then you can leave her as well. Staying together for the baby isn't something that you should do, but people who have answered this question are right. Women are nuts during a pregnancy, but you have already committed to her to be around for that. You owe her at least that much. Wait around for a couple months and see how things go. You can't just run out on her now.
follow ur heart %26amp; instincts
if you feel it isnt going to work out, dont stay in the relationship for the baby's sake ..
you can still be a good father without being in the relationship with the mother.
if you want to make it work, then try again .. but if that fails.. theres your answer
goodluck
Hormones are probably the reason she seems absolutely impossible. I think it is important that you are there for her right now. I would not break up with her til after the baby is born. Most important right now should be the safe, delivery of your healthy child.
Good Luck
Have either one of you tried counseling?
How old are the two of you?
And although she is due in two months did you really think this through?
I wish you the best of luck as well as for the baby who will be hurt in the long run if the two of choose to fight his/her entire life.
Remember you and the mother are the force behind the new life that the two of you are bringing into the world.
Just go with the flow, she will probably come around after the birth of the baby. Just be available for emotional support and when the baby is delivered. the two of you have a life long commitment like it or not. There is no way you will not be a part of her life for at least the rest of this child's life. Good luck and God bless****
if its because of her actions, realize its the hormones talking, she will be back to her normal self after the baby is born. but keep your promise and be there for your child
Hey man...I know your girl must be absolutely crazy right now...but cut her some slack. Hold out until the baby comes around, she is going to change a lot once she gets that little thing in her hands. You owe it to your baby to be there when its born! Trust me things are freakin nuts right now but she will be a better person once this thing is out of her body!
How do you deal with a break up?
well me and my first real bf broke up. we said we will still be friends and maybe go out again someday, but i feel so sad, and sick it makes my stomach feel weird. i still really like him and i know he likes me but at school we didn't even act like bf and gf. but i feel bad. he said he wants to date me but he doesn't know. what should i do?How do you deal with a break up?
i wish i newHow do you deal with a break up?
oh i was gonna say go party with your girlfriends..but your still in school..but get over it..your young you know how many other guys there are out there..
dont sweat it.
just go to school, contiuously, looking hott! ;)
Ignore him, because he doesnt sound like such a great guy if hes not showing you affection in public.
Take care.
but dont sweat the bs %26amp; boys!
Keep yourself busy read so bowling, skating,hang out with family/friends
ice cream
and
sad movies romantic ones
really tell him how you feel you will feel so much better when you get it off your chest even if you dont get the answer you want that feeling in your stomach will go away once your done...i been thru that before....but if it doesnt come out the way you want hang in there just remember if you love somone let them go and if it come back to you it was meant to be
Ok this just happen to me last week me and my first real bf broke up but wat made it hard is he is my bestfriend and the way i handled it was i cryed a little b/c its just somehting we do and then i was like you know this really sucks right now and i still have feelings for him to but all you can do is keep that friendship alive cuzz that is wat me and him are doing we are still friendsat first it was a little wired but now i mean i have gotten us to it. I mean dont get me wrong its hard sometimes talking to him but i mean it was for the best. There is no really way to handle it you just have to do what feels right to you snd what will help you. I mean do what u think is best
sorry if this does not really help but i hope it does
good luck
just let time go by...If it is meant to happen then it will....
i wish i newHow do you deal with a break up?
oh i was gonna say go party with your girlfriends..but your still in school..but get over it..your young you know how many other guys there are out there..
dont sweat it.
just go to school, contiuously, looking hott! ;)
Ignore him, because he doesnt sound like such a great guy if hes not showing you affection in public.
Take care.
but dont sweat the bs %26amp; boys!
Keep yourself busy read so bowling, skating,hang out with family/friends
ice cream
and
sad movies romantic ones
really tell him how you feel you will feel so much better when you get it off your chest even if you dont get the answer you want that feeling in your stomach will go away once your done...i been thru that before....but if it doesnt come out the way you want hang in there just remember if you love somone let them go and if it come back to you it was meant to be
Ok this just happen to me last week me and my first real bf broke up but wat made it hard is he is my bestfriend and the way i handled it was i cryed a little b/c its just somehting we do and then i was like you know this really sucks right now and i still have feelings for him to but all you can do is keep that friendship alive cuzz that is wat me and him are doing we are still friendsat first it was a little wired but now i mean i have gotten us to it. I mean dont get me wrong its hard sometimes talking to him but i mean it was for the best. There is no really way to handle it you just have to do what feels right to you snd what will help you. I mean do what u think is best
sorry if this does not really help but i hope it does
good luck
just let time go by...If it is meant to happen then it will....
I am really struggling to deal with this break-up鈥lease can I have your advice?
My ex left me about a month and a half ago. We had an amazing relationship (she was constantly saying how happy she was, how much I meant to her, how amazing I was etc) for 2 months, but in the third month I got insecure and this essentially pushed her away.
Unfortunately we have to see each other still as we are part of the same social circle and sports club. Since the break up we didn鈥檛 speak for a while. However, two weeks back we went away for the weekend with my social group. Here we got along well and even had a bit of flirting and banter again. When I got back from the weekend, we texted throughout the evening. She stated how happy she was that we were on speaking terms again, and flirted a little and then asked if I fancied getting a drink sometime.
I replied- then heard nothing from her.
In person she has pretty much ignored me since. We are friends on facebook but when we are both online she never speaks to me.
I don鈥檛 get this. Why could she be being like this. I really want her back in my life but don鈥檛 know what to do鈥?
Do I call her out on this behaviour? Do I just text and ask to meet for a drink? Do I just ignore it and wait for her to come to me (if she ever does)
Thanks in advance for your help.I am really struggling to deal with this break-up鈥lease can I have your advice?
I know how hard this can be because I've recently been through it. Personally if I were in your situation I'd give her one last shot.
Just say something along the lines of ';Hey, I hope you're doing OK. Would you still like to grab that drink sometime?';.
If she doesn't reply to you or make an effort, just take it as a no and seriously try to move on. Keep yourself busy and remember that just because you too split, the world doesn't stop revolving.I am really struggling to deal with this break-up鈥lease can I have your advice?
I am an expert by no means, however, I think she may be scared that things will get back to how they were, and then get all weird again, which would be a bad thing right? so in my honest opinion I would call her and arrange to meet somewhere neutral so neither of you feel threatened emotionally and talk frankly about how you both feel, and if there is a future for the relationship, i think from what you have said she is still interested, but don't force her, just let her do what she wants in her own time, whilst letting her know you are there waiting when she is ready, DON'T go for the waiting for her to come, in my experience she may think you don't care and have moved on and she may do the same.
good luck and I hope it all works out for you both.
Unfortunately we have to see each other still as we are part of the same social circle and sports club. Since the break up we didn鈥檛 speak for a while. However, two weeks back we went away for the weekend with my social group. Here we got along well and even had a bit of flirting and banter again. When I got back from the weekend, we texted throughout the evening. She stated how happy she was that we were on speaking terms again, and flirted a little and then asked if I fancied getting a drink sometime.
I replied- then heard nothing from her.
In person she has pretty much ignored me since. We are friends on facebook but when we are both online she never speaks to me.
I don鈥檛 get this. Why could she be being like this. I really want her back in my life but don鈥檛 know what to do鈥?
Do I call her out on this behaviour? Do I just text and ask to meet for a drink? Do I just ignore it and wait for her to come to me (if she ever does)
Thanks in advance for your help.I am really struggling to deal with this break-up鈥lease can I have your advice?
I know how hard this can be because I've recently been through it. Personally if I were in your situation I'd give her one last shot.
Just say something along the lines of ';Hey, I hope you're doing OK. Would you still like to grab that drink sometime?';.
If she doesn't reply to you or make an effort, just take it as a no and seriously try to move on. Keep yourself busy and remember that just because you too split, the world doesn't stop revolving.I am really struggling to deal with this break-up鈥lease can I have your advice?
I am an expert by no means, however, I think she may be scared that things will get back to how they were, and then get all weird again, which would be a bad thing right? so in my honest opinion I would call her and arrange to meet somewhere neutral so neither of you feel threatened emotionally and talk frankly about how you both feel, and if there is a future for the relationship, i think from what you have said she is still interested, but don't force her, just let her do what she wants in her own time, whilst letting her know you are there waiting when she is ready, DON'T go for the waiting for her to come, in my experience she may think you don't care and have moved on and she may do the same.
good luck and I hope it all works out for you both.
How to deal with this break up?
answer this question please:/
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoJfsyioZjtDTWkwDXrfDxfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091225025141AAVhdHiHow to deal with this break up?
if u really love him dnt stop trying to fix ur relationship but if u feel like it was better to break up and on the other hand u feel bad dnt ! ..just live ur life n try dating again after a while and keep you eyes open for a better man there is always one out there trust me ! good luckHow to deal with this break up?
since ur boyfriend wanna get back together, just get back first..don worry about the distance thing..i mean..just get back together first, and leave the rest..at least being together can make you feel better...even ur not gona see him, maybe you can still have him in ur heart..at least u can feel the love..so get back together!! u guys shouldn't be apart..
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoJfsyioZjtDTWkwDXrfDxfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091225025141AAVhdHiHow to deal with this break up?
if u really love him dnt stop trying to fix ur relationship but if u feel like it was better to break up and on the other hand u feel bad dnt ! ..just live ur life n try dating again after a while and keep you eyes open for a better man there is always one out there trust me ! good luckHow to deal with this break up?
since ur boyfriend wanna get back together, just get back first..don worry about the distance thing..i mean..just get back together first, and leave the rest..at least being together can make you feel better...even ur not gona see him, maybe you can still have him in ur heart..at least u can feel the love..so get back together!! u guys shouldn't be apart..
Men and women,how you deal with a break-up?
i want to know honestly from both sexes how you deal with a breakup
also state if you are male or female :)Men and women,how you deal with a break-up?
';he to himself who binds a joy, does the winged life destroy; but he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives on in eternity's sunrise';.......this poem was written roughly 200 yrs ago and it still rings beautifully true !!! xxx says it all really ! i try to live with this in mind but it's hard sometimes xxx me, i'm just a chilled and free aquarian....with no-one to make me smile !!! hee hee hee !! i'm over it !!!Men and women,how you deal with a break-up?
female - have a good cry, get on with my life, don't dwell over the past, have some good times without a man in tow, live life to the full.
Concentrate on being happy.
Ciggarettes, alcohol, short term bitterness, mild depression, burning of anything that reminds me of my ex and then back to reality time to move on
I deal with a breakup by hanging out with my friends and keeping my mind occupied. Just go out and have fun. Move on to better people and learn from the past
personally....i grieve as if someone has died. then i retreat and stay by myself for a while, until i'm ready to face the world again.
female- im going through a break up now. finding it so hard as i still love him so much but know the relationship aint right anymore. i dont know how to move on? hopefully my child will keep me going? good luck x
Drink, get bitter, find someone else, easy.
Plenty of booze and time with other people.
I'm a Male and it takes a Woman to get over a Woman...
You feel bad and then you get over it.
Chocolate and girls nights out great stuff :)
I just do what I normally do. Whats the point in moping?
accept it is over and move on..
also state if you are male or female :)Men and women,how you deal with a break-up?
';he to himself who binds a joy, does the winged life destroy; but he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives on in eternity's sunrise';.......this poem was written roughly 200 yrs ago and it still rings beautifully true !!! xxx says it all really ! i try to live with this in mind but it's hard sometimes xxx me, i'm just a chilled and free aquarian....with no-one to make me smile !!! hee hee hee !! i'm over it !!!Men and women,how you deal with a break-up?
female - have a good cry, get on with my life, don't dwell over the past, have some good times without a man in tow, live life to the full.
Concentrate on being happy.
Ciggarettes, alcohol, short term bitterness, mild depression, burning of anything that reminds me of my ex and then back to reality time to move on
I deal with a breakup by hanging out with my friends and keeping my mind occupied. Just go out and have fun. Move on to better people and learn from the past
personally....i grieve as if someone has died. then i retreat and stay by myself for a while, until i'm ready to face the world again.
female- im going through a break up now. finding it so hard as i still love him so much but know the relationship aint right anymore. i dont know how to move on? hopefully my child will keep me going? good luck x
Drink, get bitter, find someone else, easy.
Plenty of booze and time with other people.
I'm a Male and it takes a Woman to get over a Woman...
You feel bad and then you get over it.
Chocolate and girls nights out great stuff :)
I just do what I normally do. Whats the point in moping?
accept it is over and move on..
How Do I Help my Children Deal With Our Break Up?
We had a Particularly Volatile relationship, buy the end of it he was trying to brake into my house- which my youngest boy - 4 - witnessed.
He has a heart of gold as a father but has no clue how to deal with the world and i am not prepared to sit around while he promises to change.
My youngest is only 2- and seems to be almost unaware of the situation,
My eldest is 4 and as a result he is really acting up. I don't want to be any softer on him than normal Bcoz He finds it hard to deal with change and his dad not being around and starting school is a lot of change. I want to appear constant with him.
I am terrified of raising them alone - we have not lived with their dad for years -he was never around anyway - but now its official is scary.
so how do i help the boys to deal with this but remain constant so as not to upset them anymore?How Do I Help my Children Deal With Our Break Up?
Be honest but only as is suitable for the age of the child, assure them constantly that both you and your father love them and will always do so and will always be there for them. Obviously the two year old is not old enough to understand a lot and will accept the changes as the norm.
Get a third party involved a mediation or if necessary the courts to sort out the custody and visitation rights of their father and stick to them so the children have as much consistency as possible. Never allow your anger or bitterness show in front of the children, critisism of him will damage their self esteem.
It seems to me that you probably understand all of this and will do your best to minimise the impact on your children but you do need to make your home safe for them and yourself. So it might be necessary for you to get some sort of restraining order against their father coming to the house until he comes to terms with the situation and realises the damage he is causing by being violent or aggressive in front of them and ceases to do so.
You say he is a loving father so use this to make him realise that while your relationship is over you know he is a great father and you will always want him to be as much a part of the childrens lives as before and involved as much as possible in the children's care and upbringing.
Don't be scared you have obviously managed on your own and if you and their father can sort out a good agreement of shared parenting you will probably find it a lot easier than the way things are now.
Good luckHow Do I Help my Children Deal With Our Break Up?
You already know the answer - remain constant. This is the most important thing. That along with reminding them that you love them and you aren't going anywhere is very important. Make sure you don't let either of them ';get away'; with more because you feel bad for them, they are also at the age where they want to test their boundaries and see where they can get, it is important to be consistent with that as well. Im sorry, stay strong!
charleyc13 - that was unthoughtful, rude and inconciderate.
well...
1. don't marry someone unless you completely love them and there is no chance you'll break up because you want to be with each other forever. (or if you were stupid enough to have a child out of wedlock then you brought it on yourself)
2. they shouldn't have to deal with it
3. did you even think how this would affect them before you got divorced
fill them up with sweets
Luckily they're both so young and if he's hardly around anyway, they may not notice too much difference. Children find it so much easier to adapt to this sort of situation, they'll probably find it easier than you'll expect.
Of course there'll be some difficulties to start with, but you've just got to be there for them both, especially the eldest who has more concept with what's happening. Starting school can be difficult for children, just help him through the daily trivia, he'll soon perk up.
Befriend other parents in the playground, it should help your children settle in and make friends easier themselves if you're doing it too.
If you've been doing this yourself mainly anyway, you've nothing to be scared about. I'm sure you're a great parent, just keep doing everything the same as you already was. ^^Bounce back error message received from myspace games
He has a heart of gold as a father but has no clue how to deal with the world and i am not prepared to sit around while he promises to change.
My youngest is only 2- and seems to be almost unaware of the situation,
My eldest is 4 and as a result he is really acting up. I don't want to be any softer on him than normal Bcoz He finds it hard to deal with change and his dad not being around and starting school is a lot of change. I want to appear constant with him.
I am terrified of raising them alone - we have not lived with their dad for years -he was never around anyway - but now its official is scary.
so how do i help the boys to deal with this but remain constant so as not to upset them anymore?How Do I Help my Children Deal With Our Break Up?
Be honest but only as is suitable for the age of the child, assure them constantly that both you and your father love them and will always do so and will always be there for them. Obviously the two year old is not old enough to understand a lot and will accept the changes as the norm.
Get a third party involved a mediation or if necessary the courts to sort out the custody and visitation rights of their father and stick to them so the children have as much consistency as possible. Never allow your anger or bitterness show in front of the children, critisism of him will damage their self esteem.
It seems to me that you probably understand all of this and will do your best to minimise the impact on your children but you do need to make your home safe for them and yourself. So it might be necessary for you to get some sort of restraining order against their father coming to the house until he comes to terms with the situation and realises the damage he is causing by being violent or aggressive in front of them and ceases to do so.
You say he is a loving father so use this to make him realise that while your relationship is over you know he is a great father and you will always want him to be as much a part of the childrens lives as before and involved as much as possible in the children's care and upbringing.
Don't be scared you have obviously managed on your own and if you and their father can sort out a good agreement of shared parenting you will probably find it a lot easier than the way things are now.
Good luckHow Do I Help my Children Deal With Our Break Up?
You already know the answer - remain constant. This is the most important thing. That along with reminding them that you love them and you aren't going anywhere is very important. Make sure you don't let either of them ';get away'; with more because you feel bad for them, they are also at the age where they want to test their boundaries and see where they can get, it is important to be consistent with that as well. Im sorry, stay strong!
charleyc13 - that was unthoughtful, rude and inconciderate.
well...
1. don't marry someone unless you completely love them and there is no chance you'll break up because you want to be with each other forever. (or if you were stupid enough to have a child out of wedlock then you brought it on yourself)
2. they shouldn't have to deal with it
3. did you even think how this would affect them before you got divorced
fill them up with sweets
Luckily they're both so young and if he's hardly around anyway, they may not notice too much difference. Children find it so much easier to adapt to this sort of situation, they'll probably find it easier than you'll expect.
Of course there'll be some difficulties to start with, but you've just got to be there for them both, especially the eldest who has more concept with what's happening. Starting school can be difficult for children, just help him through the daily trivia, he'll soon perk up.
Befriend other parents in the playground, it should help your children settle in and make friends easier themselves if you're doing it too.
If you've been doing this yourself mainly anyway, you've nothing to be scared about. I'm sure you're a great parent, just keep doing everything the same as you already was. ^^
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